All knowledge, the
totality of all questions with all answers, is contained in the dog.
Dogs need to sniff the ground; it's
how they keep abreast of current events. The ground is a giant dog
newspaper, containing all kinds of late-breaking dog news items, which, if
they are especially urgent, are often continued in the next yard.
Ask not for whom the dog barks. It barks for thee!
Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog, it's too
dark to read.
- Groucho Marx
A dog teaches a boy fidelity, perseverance, and to turn around three times
before lying down.
- Robert Benchley
Most dogs don't think they are human; they know they are.
- Jane Swan
Dogs are indeed the most social, affectionate, and amiable animals of the
whole brute creation...
- Edmund Burke
Some days you're the dog, and some days you're the hydrant.
A DOG'S BILL OF RIGHTS
I have the right to give and receive unconditional love.
I have the right to a life that is beyond mere survival.
I have the right to be trained so that I do not become the prisoner of my
I have the right to adequate food and medical care.
I have the right to fresh air and green grass.
I have the right to socialize with people and dogs outside my own family.
I have the right to special time with my people.
I have the right to be bred responsibly if at all.
I have the right to be foolish and silly, and to make my person laugh.
I have the right to earn my person's trust and to be trusted in return.
I have the right to be forgiven.
I have the right to die with dignity.
I have the right to be remembered well.
A dog has the soul of a philosopher.
The dog represents all that is best in man.
- Etienne Charlet
One of the saddest sights is to see a Dane ill. Their big eyes are a
picture of misery, for make no mistake, a sick Dane puts on everything it
can to get all the love and sympathy when it feels ill.
- Barbara Woodhouse
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater, suggest
that he wear a tail.
~ Fran Lebowitz
A dog has one aim in life. ~ To bestow his heart.
- J. R. Ackerley
He is so shaggy. People are amazed when he gets up and they suddenly
realize they have been talking to the wrong end.
- Elizabeth Jones
A faithful friend is the medicine of life.
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of.
- Ogden Nash
The most affectionate creature in the world is a wet dog.
- Ambrose Bierce
Blessed is the person who has earned the love of an old dog.
When the Man waked up he said, 'What is Wild Dog doing here?' And the
Woman said, 'His name is not Wild Dog any more, but the First Friend,
because he will be our friend for always and always and always. - Rudyard
Blessed is the person who
has earned the love of an old dog.
- Sydney Jeanne Seward
IF YOU PIC UP A STARVING DOG AND MAKE HIM PROSPEROUS, HE WILL NOT BITE
YOU. THIS IS THE PRINCIPAL DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A DOG AND A MAN - from
Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar by Mark Twain
THERE'S NO CHARGE FOR LOVE
A farmer had some puppies he needed to sell. He painted a sign advertising
the 4 pups. And set about nailing it to a post on the edge of his yard. As
he was driving the last nail into the post, he felt a tug on his overalls.
He looked down into the eyes of a little boy.
"Mister," he said, "I want to buy "one of your puppies."
"Well," said the farmer, as he rubbed the sweat off the back of his neck,
"These puppies come from fine parents and cost a good deal of money."
The boy dropped his head for a moment. Then reaching deep into his pocket,
he pulled out a handful of change and held it up to the farmer. "I've got
thirty-nine cents. Is that enough to take a look?"
"Sure," said the farmer. And with that he let out a whistle. "Here,
Dolly!" he called. Out from the doghouse and down the ramp ran
Dolly followed by four little balls of fur.
The little boy pressed his face against the chain link fence. His eyes
danced with delight. As the dogs made their way to the fence, the little
boy noticed something else stirring inside the doghouse. Slowly another
little ball appeared, this one noticeably smaller. Down the ramp it slid.
Then in a some what awkward manner, the little pup began hobbling toward
the others, doing its best to catch up...."I want that one," the little boy said, pointing to the runt. The farmer
knelt down at the boy's side and said, "Son, you don't want that puppy. He
will never be able to run and play with you like these other dogs would."
With that the little boy stepped back from the fence, reached down, and
began rolling up one leg of his trousers. In doing so he revealed a steel
brace running down both sides of his leg attaching itself to a specially
Looking back up at the farmer, he said, "You see sir, I don't run too well
myself, and he will need someone who understands."
With tears in his eyes, the farmer reached down and picked up the little
Holding it carefully he handed it to the little boy.
"How much?" asked the little boy. "No charge," answered the farmer,
"There's no charge for love."
Dog Owner's Prayer
O Lord don't let me once forget
how I love my trusty pet.
Help me learn to disregard
canine craters in my yard.
Show me how to be a buddy
even when my sofa's muddy.
Don't allow my pooch to munch
postal carriers for lunch.
Shield my neighbor's cat from view—
guide my steps around the doo.
Train me not to curse and scowl
when it's puppy's night to howl.
Grant I shan't awake in fear
with a cold nose in my ear.
Give me patience without end—
Help me be 'A Dog's Best Friend'!
~ Author Unknown ~
If Dogs Were Teachers
If dogs were our teachers, we would learn important
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them
like they've been gone for a year.
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joyride
in the car.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your
face to be pure ecstasy.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On warm days, stop to lie on your back on the grass.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lie under a shady tree.
When you're happy, dance around and wiggle your entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt
thing and pout... run right back and make friends.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by
and nuzzle them gently.
And finally, never trust anyone until you sniff their butt.
The dogs may bark but
the caravan moves on.
If you stop every time a dog barks, your road will never end.
Doth the moon on high care for the barking of a dog?
Beware of the dog that does not bark.
Beware of a man that does not talk, and of a dog that does not bark.
An old dog does not bark for nothing.
An honest man is not the worse because a dog barks at him.
Truth is a good dog; but always beware of barking too close to the heels
of an error, lest you get your brains kicked out. - Francis Bacon, Sr.
The disposition of noble dogs is to be gentle with people they know and
the opposite with those they don't know...How, then, can the dog be
anything other than a lover of learning since it defines what's its own
and what's alien - Plato
Many dogs will give a greeting grin much like a human smile.
- Richard A. Wolters
A three-legged dog walked into a saloon in the Old West.
He limped over to
the bar, ordered a drink, turned around, looked at the crowd, and
announced: "I’m looking for the man who shot my paw."
If a man lived up to the reputation of a dog, he would be a saint.
- Zanzibarian Proverb
The one absolutely unselfish friend that a man can have in this selfish
world, the one that never deserts him, the one that never proves
ungrateful or treacherous, is his dog... He will kiss the hand that has no
food to offer; he will lick the wounds and sores that come in encounters
with the roughness of the world... When all other friends desert, he
- George G. Vest
It's a dog's life - English saying
Say something idiotic and nobody but a dog politely wags its tail. -
When you leave in the morning, they stick their nose in the door crack and
stand there like a portrait until you turn the key eight hours later. -
I myself have known some profoundly thoughtful dogs. - James Thurber
I spilled spot remover on my dog.
He's gone now.
- Steven Wright
With dogs, you don't need gurus. Dogs are forever in the moment. They are
always a tidal wave of feelings, and every feeling is some variant of love.
- Cynthia Heimel
Even the tiniest Poodle or Chihuahua is still a wolf at heart. - Dorothy Hinshaw Patent
Dogs, bless them, operate on the premise that human beings are fragile and
require incessant applications of affection and reassurance. The random
lick of the hand and the furry chin draped over the instep are calculated
to let the shaky owner know that a friend is nearby. - Mary McGrory
Dogs know exactly what makes them happy--doing something for someone. They
will do everything they can think of to please their human companion, and
any signs that they have been successful make them very happy. - John
I, who had my heart full for hours, took advantage of an early moment of
solitude, to cry in it very bitterly. Suddenly a little hairy head thrust
itself from behind my pillow into my face, rubbing its ears and nose
against me in a responsive agitation, and drying the tears as they came.
Elizabeth Barrett Browning
I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they chose a king, they don't
just go by size, because I bet there are some Chihuahuas with some good
- Jack Handy
Dogs are getting bigger, according to a leading dog manufacturer.
- Leo Rosten
Why, that dog is practically a Phi Beta Kappa. She can sit up and beg, and
she can give her paw--I don't say she will, but she can. - Dorothy Parker
Old dogs, like old shoes, are comfortable. They might be out of shape and
a little worn around the edges but they fit well. - Bonnie Wilcox
If you are a dog and your owner suggests that you wear a sweater...suggest
that he wear a tail. - Fran Lebowitz
The gift which I am sending you is called a dog, and is in fact the most
precious and valuable possession of mankind. - Theodorus Gaza
Maybe there are some areas where, when we are compared to dogs, we come up
short. Being called a "dog" might not be such a bad thing after all - John
I named my dog, "Stay"...so he can say
"Come here, Stay. Come here. Stay."
- Steven Wright
Now, I am a mixer. I can't help it. It's my nature. I like men. I like the
taste of their shoes, the smell of their legs, the sound of their voices.
It may be weak of me, but a man has only to speak to me, and a sort of
thrill goes down my spine and sets my tail wagging. - P.G. Wodehouse
No one appreciates the very special genius of your conversation as much as
the dog does.
- Christopher Morley
Sometimes when I get up in the morning, I feel very peculiar. I feel like
I've just got to bite a cat! I feel like if I don't bite a cat before
sundown, I'll go crazy! But then I just take a deep breath and forget
about it. That's what is known as real maturity.
Histories are more full of examples of the fidelity of dogs than of
- Alexander Pope
No animal I know of can consistently be more of a friend and companion
than a dog.
- Stanley Leinwoll
The greatest pleasure of a dog is that you may make a fool of yourself
with him and not only will he not scold you, but he will make a fool of
- Samuel Butler
Many dogs will give a greeting grin much like a human smile.
- Richard A Wolters
In order to really enjoy a dog, one doesn't merely try to train him to be
semi human. The point of it is to open oneself to the possibility of
becoming partly a dog.
- Edward Hoagland
Scratch a dog and you'll find a permanent job.
- Franklin P. Jones
You think dogs will not be in heaven? I tell you, they will be there long
before any of us.
- Robert Louis Stevenson
Whoever said you can't buy happiness forgot about little puppies.
I think we are drawn to dogs because they are the uninhibited creatures we
might be if we weren't certain we knew better. - George Bird Evans
Animals are good to think with.
- Claude Levi-Strauss
Living with a dog is easy - like living with an idealist.
- H. L. Mencken
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
Franklin P. Jones
You can run with the big dogs or sit on the porch and bark.
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your
pocket and then giving Fido only two of them. - Phil Pastoret
Man is an animal that makes bargains; no other animal does this - one dog
does not change a bone with another. - Adam Smith
Ever consider what they must think of us? I mean, here we come back from a
grocery store with the most amazing haul - chicken, pork, half a cow. They
must think we are the greatest hunters on earth! - Anne Tyler
A dog is a pitiful thing, depending wholly on companionship, and utterly
lost except in packs or by the side of his master. Leave him alone and he
does not know what to do except bark and howl and trot about till sheer
exhaustion forces him to sleep.
A cat, however, is never without the potentialities of contentment. Like a
superior man, he knows how to be alone and happy. Once he looks about and
finds no one to amuse him, he settles down to the task of amusing himself;
and no one really knows cats without having occasionally peeked stealthily
at some lively and well-balanced kitten which believes itself to be alone.
― H.P. Lovecraft
If you are a host
to your guest, be a host to his dog also. – Russian Proverb
The greater love is a mother’s; then comes a dog’s; then a sweetheart’s. –
To live long, eat like a cat, drink like a dog. – German Proverb
An honest man is not the worse because a dog barks at him. – Danish