laugh

we want to see you smile

Smiles are contagious. Be a carrier!

A smile is like looking in a mirror.
If you give a smile you're likely to get one back!

Laughter is the shortest distance between two people - Victor Borge

We cannot really love anybody with whom we never laugh - Agnes Repplier

A Smile is a powerful weapon. You can even break ice with it

Wit makes its own welcome and levels all distinctions - Ralph Waldo Emerson

He who laughs, lasts! --Mary Pettibone Poole

The cardiologist's diet: If it tastes good...spit it out - Unknown

Don't worry about avoiding temptation...As you grow older, it will avoid you - Winston Churchill

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty...everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out - Phyllis Diller

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter - Mark Twain

Total absence of humor renders life impossible - Colette

Man is distinguished from all other creatures by the faculty of laughter. --Joseph Addison

One doesn't have a sense of humor. It has you. --Larry Gelbart

Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine. --Lord Byron

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter. -- Mark Twain

You don't stop laughing because you grow old. You grow old because you stop laughing. -- Michael Pritchard

I was irrevocably betrothed to laughter, the sound of which has always seemed to me to be the most civilised music in the world. --Peter Ustinov
You can't deny laughter; when it comes, it plops down in your favorite chair and stays as long as it wants. --Stephen King

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on. --Bob Newhart

Laughter is by definition healthy - Doris Lessing

The most wasted of all days is one without laughter - ee cummings

If you don't learn to laugh at trouble, you won't have anything to laugh at when you're old - Edgar Watson Howe

Laugh at yourself first, before anyone else can - Elsa Maxwell

You can't stay mad at somebody who makes you laugh - Jay Leno

If we couldn't laugh, we would all go insane - Jimmy Buffet

In this life he laughs longest who laughs last - John Masefield

Beware of too much laughter, for it deadens the mind and produces oblivion - The Talmud

Laughter is the sun that drives winter from the human face - Victor Hugo

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh - W. H. Auden

Be your own florist: wreathe your face in smiles

You are not fully dressed until you wear a smile

YOUR NEW NAME

Follow the instructions to find your new name.

The following is an excerpt from a children's book, "Captain Underpants and the Perilous Plot of Professor Poopypants" by Dave Pilkey: The evil Professor forces everyone to assume new names...

Use the third letter of your first name to determine your new first name: a = poopsie, b = lumpy, c = buttercup, d = gidget, e = crusty, f = greasy, g = fluffy, h = cheeseball, i = chim-chim, j = stinky, k = flunky, l = boobie, m = pinky, n = zippy, o = goober, p = doofus, q = slimy, r = loopy, s = snotty, t = tulefel, u = dorkey, v = squeezit, w = oprah, x = skipper, y = dinky, z = zsa-zsa.

Use the second letter of your last name to determine the first half of your new last name: a = apple, b = toilet, c = giggle, d = burger, e = girdle, f = barf, g = lizard, h = waffle, i = cootie, j = monkey, k = potty, l = liver, m = banana, n = rhino, o = bubble, p = hamster, q = toad, r = gizzard, s = pizza, t = gerbil, u = chicken, v = pickle, w = chuckle, x = tofu, y = gorilla, z = stinker.

Use the fourth letter of your last name to determine the second half of your new last name: a = head, b = mouth, c = face, d = nose, e = tush, f = breath, g = pants, h = shorts, i = lips, j = honker, k = butt, l = brain, m = tushie, n = chunks, o = hiney, p = biscuits, q = toes, r = buns, s = fanny, t = sniffer, u = sprinkles, v = kisser, w = squirt, x = humperdinck, y = brains, z = juice.

Thus, for example, George W. Bush's new name is Goober Chickenshorts. Remember that children laugh an average of 146 times a day; adults laugh an average of 4 times a day. We all need to put more laughter in our lives.

ADULT:

A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in the middle.

BEAUTY PARLOR:
A place where women curl up and dye.

CANNIBAL:
Someone who is fed up with people.

CHICKENS:
The only animals you eat before they are born
and after they are dead.

COMMITTEE:
A body that keeps minutes and wastes hours.

DUST:
Mud with the juice squeezed out.

EGOTIST:
Someone who is usually me-deep in conversation.

HANDKERCHIEF:
Cold Storage.

INFLATION:
Cutting money in half without damaging the paper.

MOSQUITO:
An insect that makes you like flies better.

RAISIN:
Grape with a sunburn.

SECRET:
Something you tell to one person at a time.

SKELETON:
A bunch of bones with the person scraped off.

TOOTHACHE:
The pain that drives you to extraction.

TOMORROW:
One of the greatest labor saving devices of today.

YAWN:
An honest opinion openly expressed.

WRINKLES:
Something other people have.
You have character lines.

Laughter is inner jogging - Norman Cousins

A smile is a language that even a baby understands